Getting a head start on the holiday blues

This is one of my first postings on the holidays that are looming ahead like a storm over the horizon. I personally find this time of year emotionally pack-filled.  For some, they zoom by without a flicker like a racehorse galloping around a track.  Maybe, you leave town and check into a fine ski resort with only the snowfall to worry about. Maybe, you have to choose who you are going to spend the holidays with and who you might have to disappoint. For many, the holidays bring on a shift in mood, stress, expectations, expense and an abundance of tasty temptations. How do we remain in control or at least behind the wheel of our emotions during this energy-packed time of year? How do we acknowledge feelings and emotions that can surface without a clue where they came from while not falling into a deep depressive state? I believe being prepared is one way. Nurturing ourselves and our feelings is another. Not running from our emotions and allowing them to be felt is an important tool to respecting and having a deeper understanding of ourselves.

One thing to remember, is there does not have to be one event or disappointment to create the "gray cloud" effect. Sometimes, a shift in one's mood can occur like a drop in temperature.  Holidays can and are a reminder of the past. Memories can be triggered; expectations can run wild setting us up for a downward spiral. It is important to know how to take care of yourself in times like this. Journalling is a great way to put your feelings to paper. Art is another even if you don't consider yourself an artist. Try collage, it is a non-threatening creative medium. Make a list now of all the things you've been wanting to accomplish and haven't gotten around to, such as clearing out closets, organizing your home, getting together with a friend you haven't seen in a while. Most of all, take care of your feelings. Don't try to push them away. Feel them. Write about them, Paint or collage about them.

That's it for now...more to come.

The holidays are coming, the holidays are coming...

Collage Greeting Card

 It begins in November and December, those months where we can be swept away by expectations, spending and mood shifts that can occur  as often as the temperatures outside change.  Mood shifts can come over us like a dark cloud from out of nowhere. Nothing drastic happened, just suddenly, there we are, overcome with sadness, holiday blues, anxiety or some other state that has cast its spell on us. My intention here is to let you know it is not unusual to feel this way during this time of year. The dark days of winter are upon us along with the craziness of the holidays.

OK, so what can you do to make it through to the other side of the new year?  Here are a few tips I've learned along the way about getting through the holidays with my spirit intact.

• Plan ahead - have some creative projects in line to work on to focus your attention. Collage, draw, or paint MANDALAS.
• Journal - give yourself the gift of a beautiful journal
• We can learn a lot about ourselves in the dark days as well as light. Be curious about your moods and write about them. Let the page hold them.
• Move your body - walk, take a yoga class, offer to walk dogs at a shelter.
• Volunteer
• Reach out to friends
• Read 
• If aloneness triggers feelings, don't push them away, be with the feelings and realize they are coming up to be healed not ignored.
• Feelings pass
• Reach out to friends
• Make your holiday cards using collage or some other creative tool.
• Attend a spiritual celebration

Collage Mandala

So, here you have a few tips and tools to help you manage the possible emotional effects the holidays can bring on. I think we forget that we can use this time creatively. To explore creative practices that during the rest of the year, we might not have time for. Think outside the box.
These do not have to be the dark emotional days, but rather, the awakening days of the spirit and creative energy that resides inside of us.

Peace,
Victoria

The "Committee""

Did you ever stop and listen to the way you speak to yourself? The internal dialogue that goes on behind closed doors with you, yourself & I. It is very common to internalize the critical voice of others and begin using it with ourselves. We do it so often and unconsciously, that many times we aren't even aware it is happening. In my private practice, when I ask people about how they speak to themselves, they are shocked when they become aware of the harshness of the voice they use. We are usually very aware of how others speak to us, but totally unaware of how we speak to ourselves.


Try stopping and listening the next time you are beating yourself up or unhappy with a choice you've made or when you look in the mirror. Be curious about that voice. You might want to ask it where it came from or what it gets out of putting you down. The best time to listen is when you're being challenged or struggling with something, or when you've made a "mistake." Notice if you use the voice of the saboteur? The punisher? The critic? Or, are you gentle with yourself taking on the voice of the coach or supporter? I like to call these various voices that take hostage of our thoughts as the "committee." See if you can identify the committee in your head. Do any images come up for you? Do you need to let some committee members go? Do they no longer serve their purpose? Be aware of which committee members you'd like to keep on board and which ones need a pink slip. Many times we believe we won't be able to get things done without the harsh and critical voice to keep us on track. Most likely this will not be the case and you will find the encouraging voice just as motivating. Once you've figured out which members need to go, politely ask them to leave and thank them for their service. Some might resist, but be insistent, that they need to leave.


With your new committee that supports and encourages you in place, practice a new way of speaking to yourself that works with you instead of against you. And if you slip, or if an unwanted member returns, be patient with yourself. A new muscle is forming!

Calm your Anxiety Away - create a mandala

If you've followed my blog, you know I write a lot about the art of mandalas. The Sanskrit word that means simply "circle." Every culture uses some form of the circle as a tool to promote calm, healing, meditation, enlightenment and more. Carl Jung, the Swiss Analyst believed the mandala is the voice of the unconscious. In my workshops, the art of creating mandalas, you create freestyle mandalas that represent where you are in your life today. No one mandala will look the same. We use colored pencils, collage and crayons to create personal mandalas. It is fun, connecting, relaxing and  telling.

How do mandalas help with anxiety? First, the circle is a contained space that provides safety. Second, creating mandalas is a meditative process that allows you to become centered, focused and relaxed, especially when you can silence the critical voice within. It helps to train the active thinking brain to be in the here and now and be totally in the process rather than product. Even if you color an already pre-printed mandala, your focus is on the design and not the thoughts in your head.  You can download pre-printed mandalas off the internet and color away.  Allow yourself to let go and let the process happen  You do not have to be an artist or even consider yourself create to make a mandala.  Be aware of how the shapes, images and colors affect your mood. Ask your critical voice to step outside as you move around in your circle.  You can even draw a freestyle circle on a small piece of paper if are waiting for a test or exam to begin and watch how your anxiety and worry shift.

The next time you feel yourself feeling overwhelmed, create a circle and begin coloring!

Balancing Act - keeping the left and right hemispheres in check

In case you didn't know, we actually have more than one brain.  For the sake of this posting, I'm only going to talk about the left and right sides of our brains called hemiespheres. You've probably heard people refer to left-handed people as being more artistic, because being left-handed triggers a right-brain response. Our emotions reside in the right hemisphere of the brain along with our creative nature in an area called the amygdala. This is where our emotions live not our thoughts. Our thought command center is located in our left brain.  Over there in left-field is where we make lists, think projects through, balance our check books, etc.


One of the things I talk to clients about is learning to live in a more balanced state where one side of the brain is not dominating the other unless of course you are doing a math problem and there really is no need for the emotions to step in. If we live primarily in our right brains, we are ruled by our emotions and if we live in our thinking-left brains, we are disconnected from our feelings and emotions. I hear many people say, "I don't know what I'm feeling." This is usually an example of someone who lives in their left brain and can be totally unaware that our thoughts affect our feelings. A thought is usually what takes up to a feeling state. For example, lets say, you find out you failed a test. A first thought might be, "I'm stupid," which might trigger a feeling of sadness. But, if you fail the test and think, "next time, I'm going to study harder, ask for help and work on my anxiety," you will most likely feel, an sense of empowerment rather than sadness.

As your day skips along, be aware of where you are. If you are doing an artistic project, are you judging it? Critical of it? Or, are you allowing the process to happen. If you are doing something creative that needs to be a certain way, be aware of how you are talking to yourself. You can get to a product or end result without self-criticism. Try getting there with support and kindness from your right brain.  Same goes with if you are doing something that requires thinking. Are you balancing your check book and allowing your right brain to step in and become sad because you have no money in your account OR, are you being gentle with yourself and THINKING of ways to get back on track with your money management?

Take a little time out of each day and be aware of where you've been spending your time: have I been completely in my right brain or left? Have I made room for balance. If you work in a thinking field such as accounting, have you maybe done some mindfulness or doodling to give your right brain a rest? If not, give it a try...your hemispheres will thank you!

Beginnings - Where do I start? How do I start? Will it be good enough?

So, here I am staring at a blank page on my blog. I want to write today, but nothing is coming to me; No ideas. No thoughts: No hip, cool subjects jumped out at me. I feel lost about what to write. Then it hits me...beginnings. Oxford Dictionary: perform the first part of; start.  Yikes. Starting. Does that sending chills up your spine? Starting your taxes, starting a diet, starting a conversation. Staring at a blank page. As a writer and artist, I find staring at a blank page very intimidating. I want it to be good and I want it to express what I'm are thinking and feeling. In other words, I have an expectation about how it should be, look, etc. One of my favorite quotes is by Anne Lamott, writer.  In her book, "Bird by Bird" she says, don't be afraid to write a shitty first draft. Whether it's an exercise program, writing an essay, creating art, or anything else, we can feel as though a huge question mark is staring at us.  When I lead my Mandala workshops, I tell participants, if you are having trouble beginning, place your pencil anywhere in the circle and let the pencil guide you. Give the power over to the pencil. Allow it to speak for you for a few moments. I really believe that whether it is a creative piece or an academic paper, we can give ourselves some room for exploration or curiosity as be move into unknown territory of the blank page. One small movement is a beginning. One word is a beginning. One stoke of the brush is a beginning. BEWARE....the voice of criticism will be lurking just around the corner waiting to pounce. Ask it to step aside; remind it, you are having fun and don't need its help; and ask it, what do you get out of putting me down?

Exercise:

• Place a blank piece of white paper in front of you about 8 1/2/11 plain computer paper.
• Use whichever medium you feel most comfortable with
• Ask the paper if it has any messages for you today
• Close you eyes for a few moments as you rest your hand on the paper in front of you
• Move your hand around the paper
• Does a color, shape, size, image come to mind?
• Does the paper feel warm, cold, or hot?
• Does it feel soft, hard, textured?
• Maybe a question such as where do you suggest I begin? would be helpful
• As you move your hand on the paper does a particular shape form?  
• Let all of this be a guide for you.
• Allow the page to speak to you and when you feel images, shapes, or colors come to you...go with them.
• Do not judge
• Do not erase
• Just play!

Everything you have done so far has been a beginning. You have begun. Be careful about judgement. This is not about how much, how good, how perfect; it's about getting started and moving forward. Have fun with it and ask all critics to step outside. Be kind and gentle with yourself...No punishing talk. Kind, loving words as though you are speaking to a young child...

Creatively,

Victoria

Helping Children EXpress Their not-so-fun Feelings

I'm sure, if you have children, or been around them, you've experienced at least once, and I'm sure more, the emotional, confusing and overwhelming temper tantrum. I remember walking with my friend and her 4 year old son when suddenly he dropped to the ground and began wailing. I asked her what was wrong and she simply replied, "I don't have a clue." We both stood their in utter disbelief.

I've learned a thing or two about children's behavior since then and one thing I have learned is never try to reach a child when they are in the midst of a temper tantrum. It's similar to getting my dog's attention when she sees a squirrel...it's just not going to happen. The point is, once a child is in a state of emotional overload, not much is going to distract them let alone getting them to talk about what they are feeling. What you can do though, is let them know you are there for them, hold them, tell them they must be feeling really bad right now proceed to gently rock them. Once they have calmed down, you can then move to the next step which is getting them to verbalize what they are feeling. I recommend giving the names of feelings to them such as, are you feeling mad, sad, happy, frustrated? Children, depending on their age, can't always identify the feeling on their own. Another idea is to have a "feeling" chart in your house. Many times children can look at a facial expression of a feeling and can identify how they are feeling that way. When there is the time, I ask children to create a picture of how they are feeling. I ask them to pick a color, shape and size of their feeling. I would recommend always having markers or crayons on hand and paper. I like to help children identify when they are reaching their so to speak breaking point. They begin to recognize how anger, for instance, they are and can take steps to calm themselves down. They can count, take deep breaths, jump on one foot, do push-ups or take out the coloring supplies. To help children express what they are feeling, here are a few tips:

• Talk openly in your family about feelings
• All feelings are ok...it's how you express them
• Encourage children to use their words not their fists to express feelings
• Help by suggesting a few feelings they might be feeling
• Have a feeling chart in your home
• Share how you are feeling
• Be a positive example, i.e., do you use bad words; do you yell and scream? do you hit?
• children learn by observing and if you do the above...they will.
• Last but not least....STAY CALM!

Long weekend blues...

If you're like me, when a long weekend looms, I feel the urge to to stay home and stay away from the crowds. Though in a city like Los Angeles, many people leave town. Either way, for those of you who stay home and are looking for something creative to engage in, I have an idea. One of my favorite creative practices is making collage greeting cards. All you really need is magazine cut-out images, a few glue sticks, scissors and construction paper. You can also jazz them up with cool ribbon if you wish. I love giving and getting homemade cards. If you have any birthdays coming up, now might be a good time to personalize a few cards so that they are ready when the birthdays roll around. And, it's never too late to get a jump start on those holiday cards.
What I recommend you do first, is beginning to go through any magazines you have sitting around and begin cutting or tearing out images that you like. Keep them in a shoebox and when you're in the mood to work on your cards, the images will be ready for you. Along with images, I cut out sayings, words, and images that make neat backgrounds. You can cut images such as smiles, faces and attach them to other images. Be creative and think outside the box. Lay out the images first before gluing and when you have the card design the way you want it, glue it down. I sometimes trim my cards with color ribbon, or interesting design boarders. See the cards I have included in this blog posting for examples and get started on your card project. Be aware, it can become addicting!

TAMING THE BEAST OF ANXIETY...1 mandala at a time

We all experience anxiety....anxiety is our fight or flight response that warns us of danger. It is a primal feeling that has its roots in protecting us from danger, BUT, we have learned through evolution to use it even when we are not physically in danger. It comes up at crazy times for instance when we are afraid we've made a mistake. OR, have a made a mistake and worry about the outcome. Anxiety surfaces when some feeling triggers a fear response that has us feeling unsafe. Another example might be when we have to give a speech or lecture. One of man's most feared events besides death is public speaking. Ask anyone and they will tell you they would rather do anything than speak in front of a crowd. I believe when we are experiencing a bout of anxiety, we are also in a place of not trusting ourselves. We fear something will go wrong; we will be laughed out; we fear we will embarrass ourselves in front others. At this moment, we have lost the ability to trust that we will be OK. In other words...we feel as though we are looking into the eyes of danger, we in fact, we are not in danger. Coloring mandalas are one creative technique that can aid in the calming of anxiety. Coloring within a boundaries of the circle provide a sense of safety, and boarders. Mandala is the Sanskrit word for "circle." I could write for lines about mandalas, but for this posting, I'm focusing on the use of mandalas to aid in managing the beast known as anxiety. If you can draw a circle, you can create a mandala...and it doesn't have to be a perfect circle. You can also print pre-drawn mandalas and color them in with markers, colored pencils, crayons or any other drawing medium you wish. You can make them as small or large as you wish. You can draw a circle using a circular object as a guide. Once you have created your circle, begin to draw within the circle. You can begin anywhere in the circle you wish. Begin drawing and observe how you begin to focus on the circle and not on your worry. I invite you to take on the mandala when you are faced with worry. Enjoy the process. For more about mandalas, read some of my earlier posts.

I'm good enough, smart enough and...

I'm enough! Period. End of story. Wouldn't it be great if that's the way it really worked. This idea has been coming up a lot in my life recently both on a personal level and with my work with clients. I've been giving a lot of thought to the idea of really believing that one is good enough just the way they are. At what point do we learn that we are not good enough and where do we stumble on or get programmed to believe that we are not? We surely don't come out of the womb with a belief system that we are not good enough. We enter the world whole and then we are bombarded with shoulds, shame, judgement, doubt, criticism, and the list goes on. This is typically when we learn to these reject aspects of ourselves as though they were limbs we could amputate; we take these parts of ourselves and shove them away so no one will find them. And, we forget about them. So we think. They have ways of sneaking around and tormenting us when we least expect it. Times of feeling rejected, abandoned, fearful, lonely...oh yes, they're still around.

So, what parts of yourself do you reject? Or maybe I should say, disown. Or maybe your are ashamed of. Can you name a few? What about the part of you that tends to be forgetful? Or the part that gets jealous? Or, the part that can be careless...that's a big one. And, what about the part that you feel is NOT PERFECT? Yes, even that one. What I'm asking is how do you take care of yourself when these aspects of yourself come up? Do you berate yourself? Shame yourself? Or, are you loving and kind to yourself?

Here's the art directive:
Create a collage using cut-out magazine images, of all the many aspects of you. Good, bad, ugly, unacceptable, unforgiving, not allowed; the parts you embrace and the parts you reject...they are all welcome...invite them all in. Use images that reflect these parts of you. Glue them to the paper and really take time to look at them and get to know them. Realize, that like it or not, these are what make you who you are. They are all part of the amazing whole that make you YOU. No one collage will look the same. Practice seeing what it feels like to really take these pieces of yourself in. Bring them forward and acknowledge them. Take them out of the closet and allow them to be seen. You do not have to hide them anymore. They create the whole of who you are and if you took one away, the whole would not be complete. After completing your self-collage, I would encourage you to journal about the process. Write about what came up and you might want to even name these beautiful parts of what make you YOU. Give them names. They all have a right to be here. They are not wrong.

Go in peace...

The "MAGIC" of Model Magic

It is always a challenge, well at least for me, when a teen comes into session with their head hung low, unwilling to participate in therapy, and wanting the session to end yesterday! I don't know what I would do if I didn't have training as an art therapist. Recently, a young boy ambivalently came into the playroom remarking that he didn't want to be there and didn't want to do "anything." I validated his feelings and at one point, asked him where in his body he feels the intense feelings he was having. He reported, "his stomach." I quickly told him that many times we have physical symptoms when the feelings have not been expressed. I let him mull on a few of the things I said and then handed him a large piece of model magic. Model Magic is a clay-like substance that comes in different colors and hardens if you leave it out in the air. It is soft to touch when first opened and stays soft if kept in a plastic bag. Young and old love it's texture and its tactile experience. Colors can be mixed to make interesting combinations of colors or you can color pieces with magic markers also creating a beautiful kaleidoscope of color combinations. I suggested my client hold the clay in his hands to see how it felt. He continued to hang his head, but also proceeded to play with the clay by squeezing and twisted it eventually lifting his head up. I showed him how the clay can be made into a ball and that it can bounce. At one point the boy made a ball out of the clay and began to toss it in the air and against the wall. As I worked with another piece of clay, I also formed a ball and asked him if he knew how to juggle. Be then made two balls out of the same piece of clay and began to juggle with two and eventually with three balls of clay. I acknowledged what a good juggler his is and this might be something he can do when he is feeling anxious. I know this teen plays basketball, so at one point we both shot baskets into the waste basket using the balls we had made. My client appeared to relax and engage in the process with me. 5 minutes before the end of the session, my client announced he wanted to leave and I walked with him to the waiting area to wait for his parents. If children and teens are not taught how to manage anxiety, they become adults that are not in control of their overwhelming worry. Knowing tools to manage anxiety is as important as knowing how to take care of a headache or toothache.

I made sure that he understood that juggling and or tossing balls was something he could do when he felt anxious. It is important for children and teens to have tools they can turn to when feelings come up that they have difficulty managing. I call it their emotional toolbox. I suggested he come up with some other tools he can used when he feels overwhelmed by anxiety and worry.

New Year...new beliefs

Welcome 2011....goodbye 2010. Every January New Year's rolls around, many are busy writing their New Year's resolutions, which they hope will make some kind of a change in their lives. I do not adhere to resolutions, because I don't believe they stick and usually no one is sitting on our shoulders keeping an eye on us. So, it is easy to let exercise, dieting, writing, spending habits fall by the wayside. I usually begin a new journal to start the New Year off and begin writing about what I'd like to let go of in the new year and what I'd like to bring in. Not necessarily material things, but what new energy, belief systems, thoughts, and/or accomplishments would I like to happen in the new year. So, instead of one of my resolutions being exercise daily, I might write, I'd like to take on a new belief system about exercise, which I like to call "moving" instead of the E word. So, I don't set myself up for failure or disappointment about not moving, I give myself permission to see moving from a different perspective. I have a choice of activities that allow my body to move instead of one, that is "go to the gym." I might workout at home with weights, put a CD on and dance, walk my dogs; you get the picture. Give yourself more than one option to move.

A belief I'm working on in 2011 is the idea that I do not need others approval to feel important. I can trust and believe it without the actions of others as my radar. I will also, not beat myself up if I do slip into old patterns, but I will acknowledge the thoughts and feelings. So, what is a new belief you would like to bring into 2011? Maybe it is about not feeling entitled to have certain feelings. What feeling do you believe you need to give yourself permission to have? Anger? Sadness? Joy? Pick one to work on. I recommend journaling daily about feelings and the thoughts you have about them. Practice allowing yourself to have them, write about them and be curious about them. Be kind and gentle with them and with yourself. Don't run from them. Draw an image of them in your journal and get to know the feeling.

You might want to work with a friend, therapist or someone you trust in case feelings surface that feel overwhelming or you are not familiar with.

Be well,
Victoria

Artsy-Fartsy Play Time for Adults

Are you tired of kids having all the fun and having to sit back and watch? Join us Sunday, November 14th, from 2-5pm for some artsy fun. What began as a mandala workshop, which it still is, is also a time and place to let your hair down, get the crayons, colored pencils and collage materials out, and have a blast. A place where your imagination can soar and you can relax into the process of art-making.
Creativity provides a vehicle for your soul to speak, your left brain time to rest and your right brain space to dance. Whether you consider yourself artistic or not, this is a place for you to have fun, explore and not be concerned with "shoulds" or "musts." It is a place to play.
Using various art materials, step into the cirlce of creativity and see what happends. For those who do not have a creative outlet, this might be just what your heart desires.

For more information, please contact me at 310-922-3957.

Tibetan Mandala

I had the opportunity to see my first Tibetan sand mandala being created at the Hammer museum in Westwood, Ca yesterday. The exhibit is being put on by the Mandala Project. (www.aribhod.org) The traditional Tibetan mandala is meticulously painted with colored sand and can be seen in its 3-D replica and blue print forms as well. The process is amazing and to see it in person was a moving experience.
I continue to learn something new all the time about mandalas. I learned yesterday that traditional mandalas are 3-dimensional and flat replicas are created on a surface painted with colored sand. These are the mandalas I am most familiar with. Given the time and expertise needed to create 3-dimensional mandalas, there are only a few of them in the world. These mandalas are not dismantled when completed as the sand mandalas are. The particular mandala that is on display at the Hammer is the Zangdok Palri and depicts the gathering of awareness holders, who have attained the highest level of wisdom and capacity to benefit others. ((The Mandala Project) Whether 3-dimensional or as a sand mandala, the space is considered sacred and rich in ancient symbolism.
To preserve the importance of this treasure of Tibetan culture, the Zangdok Pairi Mandala is being built in the mountains of Tehachapi, California. It will be a four-story architectural mandala. When completed, the structure will reach 90 feet high and will be a symbol to promote and teach peace and compassion.

Finding art all around us

As I was driving home yesterday from Hollywood, where I'm a counselor at the Do it Now Foundation, I spied this amazing rainbow dashing through the sky. After a few days of extreme heat, the sky darkened and between clouds and buildings, this rainbow appeared. I had to grab my Blackberry and snap away. Rainbows are, I believe, natures ability to be artist. Children draw rainbows at a very young age and they seem to instantly communicate a sense of happiness to those who witness them. They are referred in music, poetry, children's lit and more as a place where joy resides and when you get to the end of them...somewhere over the rainbow; a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

Rainbows appear when the sun shines into droplets of water. I happen to think that they are one of the most beautiful phenomenons in nature along with blazing orange, pink and red sunsets. So grab some pastels, colored pencils, paint and create your own personal sunset.

Experiencing ANXIETY from a different perspective

AnXiEtY - comes in many different forms from debilitating, to annoying, to nonstop, to somewhat under control, to life-saving and to hopefully, a place of calm. Anxiety does not come from out of nowhere. It is produced by our thoughts. Usually, thoughts about the past or future. Unless we are eye-to-eye with a real threat, which is about fear, anxiety is something that comes from our beliefs and thought patterns. I believe in the idea of seeing anxiety and the emotions connected to anxiety as energy. Therefore, if we can change our thoughts, we can decrease our anxiety. Sounds easy, right, well, research is discovering that there is another component to lowering anxiety and that is emotional energy, which Peter Strong, PhD calls, Emotional Feeling Energy. He goes on to say, that this is "what gives meaning and power to our thoughts." "These beliefs become trapped energy."
Art directive
From an art therapy perspective, I would ask, what does this energy look, feel, taste, smell and sound like? What shape is it? What color is it? Then, I would ask you to draw this image. Pick a color that represents this energy or emotion. After you put the image on a piece of paper, practice introducing another color that modifies or allows the original color to feel better. Surround your anxiety image with this new color and work with altering and introducing this new color into the original color. Be mindful of how you feel during this process and if your anxiety shifts. This idea is not to get rid of the anxiety, but to work on modifying the energy so it doesn't feel as intense.
Try practicing this exercise and be aware of any shifts in your anxiety. Journal about the process. Remember, to practice being with the feeling that you are experiecing instead of the anxiety. The feeling will not kill you. Try not to run from it. Be still and allow the feeling to be acknowledged.

Quotes taken from Peter Strong, PhD: www.mindfulnessmeditationtherapy.com

Universal Women's Retreat

I spent, Saturday, September 11, 2010, in Santa Barbara at Casa de Maria doing a mandala workshop for a women's spiritual retreat. It was an amazing day, in an amazing location, with amazing women! My workshop was from 9am - 11:15. If you have never been to Casa de Maria, you really owe it to yourself to make a visit. The atmosphere is calming and uplifting at the same time. I was able to do the workshop in the loft at the center and it provided for a great setting with light, open windows and tables! Something that is not always readily available when I hold workshops.

Everyone was open to the process, which included creating a pre-designed mandala using Crayons and a free-style mandala using mixed media. I had such a great time introducing the art of mandalas to the women, who were there for a weekend of sisterhood. Below are some photos from the workshop and also along the side bar of this blog. Hope to see you at one of my mandala workshops soon. Be well, Victoria

The Disfunctional Art of Not Showing UP

One of my pet-peeves in life is the not showing up virus. As I mentioned in my last posting, I want to say a few words about this rampant disease that attacks young and old, is not gender, race, or religious specific, and can reek havoc on those depending on those who have agreed to SHOW UP in other words, RSVP's YES.

I recently encountered this problem when I signed up to be a Meetup facilitator and to hold monthly Creating Mandala Workshops. 18 people RSVP'd "YES," a bunch "Maybes," some "No's" and 3 on the waiting list. 7 people actually "SHOWED UP." Those on the waiting list missed out, because those that said they were coming didn't. So, what causes people to say yes to something and then change their mind, but not let the event organizer know? Does a better invitation come along? Do they get lost and turn around and go home? Do they lose interest? I know there have been times when I've changed my mind about attending something or I just didn't feel up to it, but I'm quite sure I let the organizer know and if I didn't shame on me.

I believe strongly in showing up. I guess because I was brought up when what others thought of you still mattered and manners and thank you notes were not considered an archaic act, that I realize how important it is to RSVP and follow through on that decision. Or, at least let the person know if you've changed your mind.

Showing up, is what it's about, someone said not that long ago. I can't remember who. But I believe it is true. It's like being habitually late to things. For my recent Meetup event, I was counting on 18 people coming, so I bought additional supplies, set up for 18 people, not 7 and even sent an email out asking people to please let me know if they weren't coming. A few people did change their RSVP's, but mostly, they just didn't show up!

I believe you never know what you will discover when you show up. You might make a new friend, you might meet a love interest, you might get a connection or lead for a great job, find a dependable dog sitter or a great lead to something you've been after...you just don't know. But, if you don't show up, it is certain, you will miss out on some life experience. I met a woman at this meetup, who has generously offered her art studio for me to hold future mandala workshops! How cool is that.

The Art of Creating Mandalas is now on Meetup

My first Art of Creating Mandalas' meetup was last Saturday at Burtan Chase Park in Marina Del Rey. If you've never experienced a Meetup, you should check them out. No matter what you are into, you will find a Meetup on the subject. From arts to sports, spirituality, cooking, dinning, Moms, Dads, Sailing, you name it, and most likely there is a Meetup for it. Meetup is basically a social network of activities that are sometimes free and sometimes there is a fee. A great way to connect and not feel isolated. Check them out at Meetup.com.

Other than the terrible parking situation, it was a great event. 7 people made the effort to show up. Actually, that should be the title of this post...the importance of showing up. I'll save that for another post.

We all met at the park, where I had set up blankets, art supplies, boards to lean on and shade. It was an enthusiastic group from different walks of life. But what brought us together was our love of creativity. There was time to do more than one original mandala and to explore using both black and whte paper, crayons and colored pencils.

The next meetup is scheduled for September 18th and it's possible we will meet at a studio in Tarzana.

Be well and keep the creativity flowing!
Peace,
Victoria

Check out this great site...

This site goes to show that you can create art anywhere...check out Scott's work; it's amazing! (http://www.dirtycarart.com/

Energy-Zappers: finding a creative approach

Are you surrounded by energy-zappers in your life? People who have constant drama and chaos in their lives and have little time to hear your story? People who monopolize the conversation with their tales of drama and never ask what is happening in your life? What does this have to do with creativity you might ask? I'm asking myself that question too. Lets see how the two can come together...

First, lets define what an energy-zapper is:

• Someone who has constant chaos in their lives


• Someone who thrives on chaos in their lives


• Someone who has the ability to pull you into their chaos


• Someone who during the conversation does not ask about your life


• Someone who leaves you wondering, what just happened?

If you recognize any of these situations happening in your relationships, you are most likely experiencing the art of the energy-zapper's ability to drain your energy

Now what?

Here is what I'm learning to do:

• Distance myself from energy-zappers and limit my phone conversations and personal contact with them.
  
• I've identified who the energy-zappers are in my life.


• I choose when to talk to them and when not.


• I create clear boundaries with them, such as..."I need to go now."

How can I turn this into a creative exercise?

1. Create a collage that represents energy-zappers: choose images that correspond to how you feel when you have a conversation with an energy-zapper and recognize the impact they have on your well-being. See collage at the top of this post.

2. To regain a sense of calm after having an energy-zapping conversation, create a calm and relaxing mandala that reflects a release of anxiety.

After creating your calming mandala, spend some time with it. Maybe ask it a question such as, How can I regain the energy I just lost by listening to an energy-zapper? What is it that I need right now? How can I take care of myself the next time I encounter an energy-zapper? Questions like these can help you get back on track, so you do not spend the rest of the day feeling drained or resentful.

Another suggestion is, before engaging in an energy-zapper conversation, let the person know you only have so much time to speak with them before you have to go. You also might decide, that this is a time in your life when you do not have any space for energy-zappers and that is OK too. Limit conversations or let others know you are exhausted and need time to yourself.

REMEMBER---you can always turn to your journal to write or draw about the feelings you are experiencing. This is your safe place.

Painting Self Portraits

I recently attended a workshop at the Ford Theatre in Los Angeles in memory to Frida Kahlo, one of my favorite and admired painters. Know for her detailed and vibrant self portraits, part of the evening was going to be spent exploring self portraits. What I thought was going to be a film and dance event, became an amazing experience in painting our self portrait. The out door theatre was turned into an art studio with the stage being lined with brown paper, acrylic paints and mirrors. Two professional painters were there to guide us. But other then some technique tips here and there, we were on our own. I began with an outline of my face and then attempted to to fill in the oval. It is challenging doing a self portrait with one size brush, but luckily we could paint over and over our brown paper until we got the image that we liked. I could feel my inner critic speak loudly as I tried over and over to get the image I wanted and feeling little control over the paint and my brush. As soon as I was able to let go of any expectations and just let the brush have fun, my self criticism silenced some what. My friends who came with me had a great time and the portraits that came out of the experience were fantastic. It was a beautiful experience and I learned to allow my self portrait to be more of a reflection of how I am rather than a perfect image of my features.

Selective Mutism - Understanding a Child's Silence

I've been seeing a young girl in my private practice for about three months now, who I am totally fascinated with. Until recently, I had no idea she remains completely silent in class except for Spanish and Music. She is in Kindergarten and is 6. At She has a 9 year old brother, who at the first session informed me that she doesn't speak and that he will speak for her. At home it's a different story. She talks, plays, and wrestles with her brother. She is also aggressvive at times, acts out inappropriately and uses profanity.

So what's going on with this six-year old girl? That's what I've been seeking to understand and figure out since beginning to see her. I first thought I was working with a child with ODD, oppositional defiant disorder, a diagnosis from the DSM IV manual. The more I work with this young girl, the more I begin to see an intelligent, witty and athletic child, who is doing the best she can to cope with her surrounding environment. She loves animals, loves sports and loves to win. After speaking to her teacher, I realized that this kindergartner is silent throughout most of the day. Some how, she keeps it all together without speaking or uttering a word. She has pretty good peer relations, but definitely has her triggers. The clinical term given to children who do not speak is called Selective Mutism. Many will report that selective mutism is about control, but it is not. It is a social anxiety disorder that causes children to clam up for fear of being laughed at and fear of social embarrassment. It is found in less than 1% of mental health settings and can develop into other issues later in life if not treated. It usually occurs before the age of 5, but does not become recognized until a child enters school.

One of my therapeutic goals is to help my client improve her self-confidence and to decrease her social anxiety. As an art therapist, I do this by incorporating play, art and games. It has taken about 3 months for this child to feel comfortable and to begin to trust me and to not act out or miss use my art supplies or toys. Though this child does exhibit signs and symptoms of ODD, it is due in part to her underlying anxiety disorder. It makes sense that a child who remains silent for a good portion of his or her day, would at some point need to some how release all their built up feelings and emotions. I continue to learn, and try to understand how this child perceives her world. Part of my job as her therapist, is to help her develop healthy and constructive coping skills to handle her world. Becasue at six, she already sees her world as being scarey and unpredictable. I have to help her learn tools to not only cope, but to handle disappointment and unpredictability.

Women, Food & God - A book review

Women, Food & God - a book review
I'm reading a new book titled Women, Food & God by Geneen Roth. If you've ever suffered from or continue to suffer with emotional eating, she shares many wonderful thoughts, ideas, wisdom and laughs on not only her own journey with emotional eating, but of those who attend her retreats. Roth is new to me, but, as I soon found out, she has written on the subject of emotional eating for may years. Feeding the Hungry Heart, When Food is Love, Breaking Free from Emotional Eating and many more. She talks a lot about why diets don't work, and I couldn't support that idea more. When we diet, we for the most part, don't look at our relationship to food or to the feelings that trigger our food issues. All we are concerned about, is dropping the pounds and looking good. We don't go deeper into what is behind what drives us to over eat or eat the wrong foods or have cravings. I try to ask myself when I'm craving something, what am I really craving right now? Comfort? Excitement? Not to be alone? And what would happen if we actually sat with those feelings? We want a quick fix. We don't want to go deep into our feelings, because hey, what might be down there?She reminds us of the importance of being in the here and now when eating and recognizing and feeling the feelings that come up instead of heading for the refrig to mask them with food. We have a whole arsenal of feelings inside of us though we tend to not want to feel many of them, mostly feelings such as, loneliness, fear, anxiety, sadness and or boredom. We'd rather eat a bag of chips, Oreos or ___________you fill in the blank, then feel the feelings. Roth reminds us that feelings won't kill us. We might cry, we might feel uncomfortable, but they won't kill us. Here is where I recommend keeping a journal. Write your way through the feelings. Collage your way through the discomfort. Turn on some music. Call a friend. Go for a walk. She writes about being aware of the Voice. That voice that has been present inside of us since our little brains could make sense of them. The negative and positive messages that still scream in our ears. The voice that maybe says, "You're not wearing that outfit are you?" Or, "You're not going to eat that are you?"And how these statements can trigger an internal reaction or thought about ourselves and inturn sends a message about ourselves to our core. She stresses the importance of listening to our bodies. Where in our bodies to we experience a feeling? How does it feel? What shape is it? What color is it? I use this a lot with art therapy when I ask a client to create an image of what they are feeling in their bodies. We live so disconnected to our precious bodies that we stay in our heads where all the lies dwell about ourselves. The lies that say, we our too fat too thin, too this too that.I especially like The Eating Guidelines, which include things like: Eat when you are hungry. Eat sitting down in a calm environment. Eat what your body wants. Eat until you are satisfied. These are just a few. I recommend you pick up the book at the library and savior Roth's wisdom and expertise on the subject. Until then, eat mindfully.

Art & Pain

I read recently that Liam Neeson turned to art-making after his wife died to aid in his healing process. Others throughout time have used art for its cathartic benefits including Frida Kahlo, to name just one. It is no secret that art, music, poetry and other forms of self-expression aid in the healing process. But how? From a neuroscience perspective, art activates the emotional brain (amygdala ) quicker and easier than the left thinking brain. Art allows for feelings and emotions to be expressed instead of leaving them unaddressed where they can trigger anger, frustration and sadness in the brain and body. Art provides a calming and relaxing experience that supports the immune system, decreasing blood pressure and physical pain. When we focus on a creative practice, our minds are not focused on the pain or distractions of illness. Have you ever doodled? Doodling is a great example of how we can refocus our brains to a creative practice providing a distraction from worry, anxiety and many times physical pain.

Not only does art provide a tool to express feelings non-verbally, but it provides a vehicle to gain a sense of control when much of our lives can feel out of control. It offers a sense of accomplishment. It can be done at home or in the hospital or during medical treatments. Words can not always explain the impact an illness has on one's life, but art offers that opportunity. When we engage in art-making that isn't product focused, but rather process-focused, we can allow the enjoyment of self-expression to be present. We can let what happens happen and not be caught up with how something should look, but rather let the process unfold without judgment. With art-making, clients can give voice to the aspects of their lives that provide joy and to those that are challenging and painful. The art-work then becomes a tool to discuss life with a chronic illness.

Be well in body, mind & spirit.

Write & Draw your New Years Changes Out

So, a New Year has arrived again and everyone or almost everyone puts in place a list of resolutions he or she would like to address in the next 12 months. Maybe it concerns weight or spending, or eating, or a job search or relationships, whatever the focus, it's not the resolution that is difficult to come up with, it's the maintaining it. I find resolutions very interesting, because really, we can start them at anytime of the year, but for some reason, the New Year gives us a reason to begin again. The holidays are behind us and a brand new year awaits our energy and ideas.
I've chosen not to write resolutions anymore. I write the year's past accomplishments, and I begin a new journal. I can't say enough about the power and process of a creative journal, but I will try.
I began keeping a journal, which I called a diary, at a very young age. Mostly, I wrote what I did that day, and what I was going to do the next day. And maybe a few notes about my friends. But, I didn't go into my deep thoughts and feelings or ideas about my life. I saved that for later. My mother kept a daily journal, and I am sure she is the reason I've chosen to keep a journal today. I'm not sure where or when the first diary/journal was written, but I'm sure Anne Frank might have had something to do with the concept, or maybe not.
Why do I keep a journal? I keep a creative journal, because it is an outlet for me. It is a place to create, reflect, vent, make sense out of my life, explore, draw, and meditate. Lately, I've been drawing mandalas in my journal that reflect the mood I'm in that day. I draw images of problems I'm trying to figure out or relationships that baffle me. I write when I'm feeling good and when my mood drops. I write to get things off my chest and to process my feelings.
Back to the New Year's resolutions and how we can journal our way through our process. So, you've decided to stop eating sugar this year and on Valentine's Day all you see are dark chocolates every where you look. You remind yourself you're not eating sugar, but you also remind yourself dark chocolate has lots of antioxidants in them...But you've made this promise to yourself or, should I say, resolution. Then you think, one chocolate is not going to kill me. I have a feeling breaking the resolution promise begins with one sneaky chocolate and then another and before long we've given up the resolution. Maybe if we had written about that first temping dark morsel, we'd be able to make sense out of our need to give into it. maybe if we journal about the thoughts that were driving us to just have one, we could process what was actually happening when we decided to give in. Not that having that one chocolate is a bad thing, but the question becomes, now where do we go with the promise we made to ourselves? I'm suggesting that our journals can be used to process the trials and tribulations of resolution keeping. We can collage in our journal the resolution process. On one side what the resolution is and on the other side what gets in the way of following through with it.
It is not whether or not we keep our resolutions, but rather understanding why we made them and what gets in the way of maintaining them. Here, on the blank pages of our journal, we can reflect on whether it is truly a behavior change we want to make or just a passing idea. Whatever, our journal can provide us with an outlet to make sense of why we can or cannot keep our resolution promise and actually be a support system for us. I do suggestion keeping track of your successes as well as your challenges with maintaining your New Year's resolutions.
May you be the change you'd like to see.