Wednesday, April 20, 2011

TAMING THE BEAST OF ANXIETY...1 mandala at a time

We all experience anxiety....anxiety is our fight or flight response that warns us of danger. It is a primal feeling that has its roots in protecting us from danger, BUT, we have learned through evolution to use it even when we are not physically in danger. It comes up at crazy times for instance when we are afraid we've made a mistake. OR, have a made a mistake and worry about the outcome. Anxiety surfaces when some feeling triggers a fear response that has us feeling unsafe. Another example might be when we have to give a speech or lecture. One of man's most feared events besides death is public speaking. Ask anyone and they will tell you they would rather do anything than speak in front of a crowd. I believe when we are experiencing a bout of anxiety, we are also in a place of not trusting ourselves. We fear something will go wrong; we will be laughed out; we fear we will embarrass ourselves in front others. At this moment, we have lost the ability to trust that we will be OK. In other words...we feel as though we are looking into the eyes of danger, we in fact, we are not in danger. Coloring mandalas are one creative technique that can aid in the calming of anxiety. Coloring within a boundaries of the circle provide a sense of safety, and boarders. Mandala is the Sanskrit word for "circle." I could write for lines about mandalas, but for this posting, I'm focusing on the use of mandalas to aid in managing the beast known as anxiety. If you can draw a circle, you can create a mandala...and it doesn't have to be a perfect circle. You can also print pre-drawn mandalas and color them in with markers, colored pencils, crayons or any other drawing medium you wish. You can make them as small or large as you wish. You can draw a circle using a circular object as a guide. Once you have created your circle, begin to draw within the circle. You can begin anywhere in the circle you wish. Begin drawing and observe how you begin to focus on the circle and not on your worry. I invite you to take on the mandala when you are faced with worry. Enjoy the process. For more about mandalas, read some of my earlier posts.

Monday, March 7, 2011

I'm good enough, smart enough and...

I'm enough! Period. End of story. Wouldn't it be great if that's the way it really worked. This idea has been coming up a lot in my life recently both on a personal level and with my work with clients. I've been giving a lot of thought to the idea of really believing that one is good enough just the way they are. At what point do we learn that we are not good enough and where do we stumble on or get programmed to believe that we are not? We surely don't come out of the womb with a belief system that we are not good enough. We enter the world whole and then we are bombarded with shoulds, shame, judgement, doubt, criticism, and the list goes on. This is typically when we learn to these reject aspects of ourselves as though they were limbs we could amputate; we take these parts of ourselves and shove them away so no one will find them. And, we forget about them. So we think. They have ways of sneaking around and tormenting us when we least expect it. Times of feeling rejected, abandoned, fearful, lonely...oh yes, they're still around.

So, what parts of yourself do you reject? Or maybe I should say, disown. Or maybe your are ashamed of. Can you name a few? What about the part of you that tends to be forgetful? Or the part that gets jealous? Or, the part that can be careless...that's a big one. And, what about the part that you feel is NOT PERFECT? Yes, even that one. What I'm asking is how do you take care of yourself when these aspects of yourself come up? Do you berate yourself? Shame yourself? Or, are you loving and kind to yourself?

Here's the art directive:
Create a collage using cut-out magazine images, of all the many aspects of you. Good, bad, ugly, unacceptable, unforgiving, not allowed; the parts you embrace and the parts you reject...they are all welcome...invite them all in. Use images that reflect these parts of you. Glue them to the paper and really take time to look at them and get to know them. Realize, that like it or not, these are what make you who you are. They are all part of the amazing whole that make you YOU. No one collage will look the same. Practice seeing what it feels like to really take these pieces of yourself in. Bring them forward and acknowledge them. Take them out of the closet and allow them to be seen. You do not have to hide them anymore. They create the whole of who you are and if you took one away, the whole would not be complete. After completing your self-collage, I would encourage you to journal about the process. Write about what came up and you might want to even name these beautiful parts of what make you YOU. Give them names. They all have a right to be here. They are not wrong.

Go in peace...

Thursday, January 27, 2011

The "MAGIC" of Model Magic


It is always a challenge, well at least for me, when a teen comes into session with their head hung low, unwilling to participate in therapy, and wanting the session to end yesterday! I don't know what I would do if I didn't have training as an art therapist. Recently, a young boy ambivalently came into the playroom remarking that he didn't want to be there and didn't want to do "anything." I validated his feelings and at one point, asked him where in his body he feels the intense feelings he was having. He reported, "his stomach." I quickly told him that many times we have physical symptoms when the feelings have not been expressed. I let him mull on a few of the things I said and then handed him a large piece of model magic. Model Magic is a clay-like substance that comes in different colors and hardens if you leave it out in the air. It is soft to touch when first opened and stays soft if kept in a plastic bag. Young and old love it's texture and its tactile experience. Colors can be mixed to make interesting combinations of colors or you can color pieces with magic markers also creating a beautiful kaleidoscope of color combinations. I suggested my client hold the clay in his hands to see how it felt. He continued to hang his head, but also proceeded to play with the clay by squeezing and twisted it eventually lifting his head up. I showed him how the clay can be made into a ball and that it can bounce. At one point the boy made a ball out of the clay and began to toss it in the air and against the wall. As I worked with another piece of clay, I also formed a ball and asked him if he knew how to juggle. Be then made two balls out of the same piece of clay and began to juggle with two and eventually with three balls of clay. I acknowledged what a good juggler his is and this might be something he can do when he is feeling anxious. I know this teen plays basketball, so at one point we both shot baskets into the waste basket using the balls we had made. My client appeared to relax and engage in the process with me. 5 minutes before the end of the session, my client announced he wanted to leave and I walked with him to the waiting area to wait for his parents. If children and teens are not taught how to manage anxiety, they become adults that are not in control of their overwhelming worry. Knowing tools to manage anxiety is as important as knowing how to take care of a headache or toothache.

I made sure that he understood that juggling and or tossing balls was something he could do when he felt anxious. It is important for children and teens to have tools they can turn to when feelings come up that they have difficulty managing. I call it their emotional toolbox. I suggested he come up with some other tools he can used when he feels overwhelmed by anxiety and worry.