TAMING THE BEAST OF ANXIETY...1 mandala at a time

We all experience anxiety....anxiety is our fight or flight response that warns us of danger. It is a primal feeling that has its roots in protecting us from danger, BUT, we have learned through evolution to use it even when we are not physically in danger. It comes up at crazy times for instance when we are afraid we've made a mistake. OR, have a made a mistake and worry about the outcome. Anxiety surfaces when some feeling triggers a fear response that has us feeling unsafe. Another example might be when we have to give a speech or lecture. One of man's most feared events besides death is public speaking. Ask anyone and they will tell you they would rather do anything than speak in front of a crowd. I believe when we are experiencing a bout of anxiety, we are also in a place of not trusting ourselves. We fear something will go wrong; we will be laughed out; we fear we will embarrass ourselves in front others. At this moment, we have lost the ability to trust that we will be OK. In other words...we feel as though we are looking into the eyes of danger, we in fact, we are not in danger. Coloring mandalas are one creative technique that can aid in the calming of anxiety. Coloring within a boundaries of the circle provide a sense of safety, and boarders. Mandala is the Sanskrit word for "circle." I could write for lines about mandalas, but for this posting, I'm focusing on the use of mandalas to aid in managing the beast known as anxiety. If you can draw a circle, you can create a mandala...and it doesn't have to be a perfect circle. You can also print pre-drawn mandalas and color them in with markers, colored pencils, crayons or any other drawing medium you wish. You can make them as small or large as you wish. You can draw a circle using a circular object as a guide. Once you have created your circle, begin to draw within the circle. You can begin anywhere in the circle you wish. Begin drawing and observe how you begin to focus on the circle and not on your worry. I invite you to take on the mandala when you are faced with worry. Enjoy the process. For more about mandalas, read some of my earlier posts.

I'm good enough, smart enough and...

I'm enough! Period. End of story. Wouldn't it be great if that's the way it really worked. This idea has been coming up a lot in my life recently both on a personal level and with my work with clients. I've been giving a lot of thought to the idea of really believing that one is good enough just the way they are. At what point do we learn that we are not good enough and where do we stumble on or get programmed to believe that we are not? We surely don't come out of the womb with a belief system that we are not good enough. We enter the world whole and then we are bombarded with shoulds, shame, judgement, doubt, criticism, and the list goes on. This is typically when we learn to these reject aspects of ourselves as though they were limbs we could amputate; we take these parts of ourselves and shove them away so no one will find them. And, we forget about them. So we think. They have ways of sneaking around and tormenting us when we least expect it. Times of feeling rejected, abandoned, fearful, lonely...oh yes, they're still around.

So, what parts of yourself do you reject? Or maybe I should say, disown. Or maybe your are ashamed of. Can you name a few? What about the part of you that tends to be forgetful? Or the part that gets jealous? Or, the part that can be careless...that's a big one. And, what about the part that you feel is NOT PERFECT? Yes, even that one. What I'm asking is how do you take care of yourself when these aspects of yourself come up? Do you berate yourself? Shame yourself? Or, are you loving and kind to yourself?

Here's the art directive:
Create a collage using cut-out magazine images, of all the many aspects of you. Good, bad, ugly, unacceptable, unforgiving, not allowed; the parts you embrace and the parts you reject...they are all welcome...invite them all in. Use images that reflect these parts of you. Glue them to the paper and really take time to look at them and get to know them. Realize, that like it or not, these are what make you who you are. They are all part of the amazing whole that make you YOU. No one collage will look the same. Practice seeing what it feels like to really take these pieces of yourself in. Bring them forward and acknowledge them. Take them out of the closet and allow them to be seen. You do not have to hide them anymore. They create the whole of who you are and if you took one away, the whole would not be complete. After completing your self-collage, I would encourage you to journal about the process. Write about what came up and you might want to even name these beautiful parts of what make you YOU. Give them names. They all have a right to be here. They are not wrong.

Go in peace...

The "MAGIC" of Model Magic

It is always a challenge, well at least for me, when a teen comes into session with their head hung low, unwilling to participate in therapy, and wanting the session to end yesterday! I don't know what I would do if I didn't have training as an art therapist. Recently, a young boy ambivalently came into the playroom remarking that he didn't want to be there and didn't want to do "anything." I validated his feelings and at one point, asked him where in his body he feels the intense feelings he was having. He reported, "his stomach." I quickly told him that many times we have physical symptoms when the feelings have not been expressed. I let him mull on a few of the things I said and then handed him a large piece of model magic. Model Magic is a clay-like substance that comes in different colors and hardens if you leave it out in the air. It is soft to touch when first opened and stays soft if kept in a plastic bag. Young and old love it's texture and its tactile experience. Colors can be mixed to make interesting combinations of colors or you can color pieces with magic markers also creating a beautiful kaleidoscope of color combinations. I suggested my client hold the clay in his hands to see how it felt. He continued to hang his head, but also proceeded to play with the clay by squeezing and twisted it eventually lifting his head up. I showed him how the clay can be made into a ball and that it can bounce. At one point the boy made a ball out of the clay and began to toss it in the air and against the wall. As I worked with another piece of clay, I also formed a ball and asked him if he knew how to juggle. Be then made two balls out of the same piece of clay and began to juggle with two and eventually with three balls of clay. I acknowledged what a good juggler his is and this might be something he can do when he is feeling anxious. I know this teen plays basketball, so at one point we both shot baskets into the waste basket using the balls we had made. My client appeared to relax and engage in the process with me. 5 minutes before the end of the session, my client announced he wanted to leave and I walked with him to the waiting area to wait for his parents. If children and teens are not taught how to manage anxiety, they become adults that are not in control of their overwhelming worry. Knowing tools to manage anxiety is as important as knowing how to take care of a headache or toothache.

I made sure that he understood that juggling and or tossing balls was something he could do when he felt anxious. It is important for children and teens to have tools they can turn to when feelings come up that they have difficulty managing. I call it their emotional toolbox. I suggested he come up with some other tools he can used when he feels overwhelmed by anxiety and worry.

New Year...new beliefs

Welcome 2011....goodbye 2010. Every January New Year's rolls around, many are busy writing their New Year's resolutions, which they hope will make some kind of a change in their lives. I do not adhere to resolutions, because I don't believe they stick and usually no one is sitting on our shoulders keeping an eye on us. So, it is easy to let exercise, dieting, writing, spending habits fall by the wayside. I usually begin a new journal to start the New Year off and begin writing about what I'd like to let go of in the new year and what I'd like to bring in. Not necessarily material things, but what new energy, belief systems, thoughts, and/or accomplishments would I like to happen in the new year. So, instead of one of my resolutions being exercise daily, I might write, I'd like to take on a new belief system about exercise, which I like to call "moving" instead of the E word. So, I don't set myself up for failure or disappointment about not moving, I give myself permission to see moving from a different perspective. I have a choice of activities that allow my body to move instead of one, that is "go to the gym." I might workout at home with weights, put a CD on and dance, walk my dogs; you get the picture. Give yourself more than one option to move.

A belief I'm working on in 2011 is the idea that I do not need others approval to feel important. I can trust and believe it without the actions of others as my radar. I will also, not beat myself up if I do slip into old patterns, but I will acknowledge the thoughts and feelings. So, what is a new belief you would like to bring into 2011? Maybe it is about not feeling entitled to have certain feelings. What feeling do you believe you need to give yourself permission to have? Anger? Sadness? Joy? Pick one to work on. I recommend journaling daily about feelings and the thoughts you have about them. Practice allowing yourself to have them, write about them and be curious about them. Be kind and gentle with them and with yourself. Don't run from them. Draw an image of them in your journal and get to know the feeling.

You might want to work with a friend, therapist or someone you trust in case feelings surface that feel overwhelming or you are not familiar with.

Be well,
Victoria

Artsy-Fartsy Play Time for Adults

Are you tired of kids having all the fun and having to sit back and watch? Join us Sunday, November 14th, from 2-5pm for some artsy fun. What began as a mandala workshop, which it still is, is also a time and place to let your hair down, get the crayons, colored pencils and collage materials out, and have a blast. A place where your imagination can soar and you can relax into the process of art-making.
Creativity provides a vehicle for your soul to speak, your left brain time to rest and your right brain space to dance. Whether you consider yourself artistic or not, this is a place for you to have fun, explore and not be concerned with "shoulds" or "musts." It is a place to play.
Using various art materials, step into the cirlce of creativity and see what happends. For those who do not have a creative outlet, this might be just what your heart desires.

For more information, please contact me at 310-922-3957.

Tibetan Mandala

I had the opportunity to see my first Tibetan sand mandala being created at the Hammer museum in Westwood, Ca yesterday. The exhibit is being put on by the Mandala Project. (www.aribhod.org) The traditional Tibetan mandala is meticulously painted with colored sand and can be seen in its 3-D replica and blue print forms as well. The process is amazing and to see it in person was a moving experience.
I continue to learn something new all the time about mandalas. I learned yesterday that traditional mandalas are 3-dimensional and flat replicas are created on a surface painted with colored sand. These are the mandalas I am most familiar with. Given the time and expertise needed to create 3-dimensional mandalas, there are only a few of them in the world. These mandalas are not dismantled when completed as the sand mandalas are. The particular mandala that is on display at the Hammer is the Zangdok Palri and depicts the gathering of awareness holders, who have attained the highest level of wisdom and capacity to benefit others. ((The Mandala Project) Whether 3-dimensional or as a sand mandala, the space is considered sacred and rich in ancient symbolism.
To preserve the importance of this treasure of Tibetan culture, the Zangdok Pairi Mandala is being built in the mountains of Tehachapi, California. It will be a four-story architectural mandala. When completed, the structure will reach 90 feet high and will be a symbol to promote and teach peace and compassion.

Finding art all around us

As I was driving home yesterday from Hollywood, where I'm a counselor at the Do it Now Foundation, I spied this amazing rainbow dashing through the sky. After a few days of extreme heat, the sky darkened and between clouds and buildings, this rainbow appeared. I had to grab my Blackberry and snap away. Rainbows are, I believe, natures ability to be artist. Children draw rainbows at a very young age and they seem to instantly communicate a sense of happiness to those who witness them. They are referred in music, poetry, children's lit and more as a place where joy resides and when you get to the end of them...somewhere over the rainbow; a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

Rainbows appear when the sun shines into droplets of water. I happen to think that they are one of the most beautiful phenomenons in nature along with blazing orange, pink and red sunsets. So grab some pastels, colored pencils, paint and create your own personal sunset.

Experiencing ANXIETY from a different perspective

AnXiEtY - comes in many different forms from debilitating, to annoying, to nonstop, to somewhat under control, to life-saving and to hopefully, a place of calm. Anxiety does not come from out of nowhere. It is produced by our thoughts. Usually, thoughts about the past or future. Unless we are eye-to-eye with a real threat, which is about fear, anxiety is something that comes from our beliefs and thought patterns. I believe in the idea of seeing anxiety and the emotions connected to anxiety as energy. Therefore, if we can change our thoughts, we can decrease our anxiety. Sounds easy, right, well, research is discovering that there is another component to lowering anxiety and that is emotional energy, which Peter Strong, PhD calls, Emotional Feeling Energy. He goes on to say, that this is "what gives meaning and power to our thoughts." "These beliefs become trapped energy."
Art directive
From an art therapy perspective, I would ask, what does this energy look, feel, taste, smell and sound like? What shape is it? What color is it? Then, I would ask you to draw this image. Pick a color that represents this energy or emotion. After you put the image on a piece of paper, practice introducing another color that modifies or allows the original color to feel better. Surround your anxiety image with this new color and work with altering and introducing this new color into the original color. Be mindful of how you feel during this process and if your anxiety shifts. This idea is not to get rid of the anxiety, but to work on modifying the energy so it doesn't feel as intense.
Try practicing this exercise and be aware of any shifts in your anxiety. Journal about the process. Remember, to practice being with the feeling that you are experiecing instead of the anxiety. The feeling will not kill you. Try not to run from it. Be still and allow the feeling to be acknowledged.

Quotes taken from Peter Strong, PhD: www.mindfulnessmeditationtherapy.com