Everywhere I look, friends are unhappy, clients are riddled with anxiety, depression, self-doubt and fear, and life appears dark and without hope. At least that is the message I'm hearing from many. Nothing feels satisfying anymore including relationships, work and the long-term picture looks bleak. I see one of my responsibilities as a marriage and family therapist and art therapist as helping to instill hope into the psyches of my clients and teaching them that they can learn a thing or two about themselves during these challenging times. Since I know all too well about the dark days of life, I feel compelled to share my experiences with others and help them SEE that these challenging times help move us to higher emotional planes. I feel, and so do many spiritual teachers, that the so called dark days are our greatest teachers. That is, if we choose to look closely at our lives and what the darkness is meant to teach us. If you have ever received a diagnosis of a life-threatening or chronic illness, you understand how this news can propel you to take action and re-examine your life. It is a motivator for many to change eating habits, start exercising, reconnect with old friends and repair relationships and hopefully see one's life from an awakened, eyes wide-open perspective. I believe we can view the cloudier days of our lives the same way...as propellers to experience a deeper understanding and respect for ourselves and lives.
Recently, when a good friend of mine asked, if I ever felt like just "ending it all," I had to be honest and reply, "of course." But, I also added, I'm sure glad I didn't follow through on that thought. I would not be the therapist, woman and healer I am today if it weren't for those dark moments of my life. Once I learned to not fear the dark days and to look them straight at them, and to learn from them, understand them and heal the pain, I found myself in a healthier and stronger place. We are taught to extinguish sadness, pain and depression, not use them as teachers. We are taught to run from these
feelings and to pretend they don't exist. What if we took care of them, loved them as part of us and allowed them to be really felt and understood? Imagine what we might learn from them.
What I am suggesting, is the next time you experience emotional pain, try sitting with the feelings; try getting to know them and see them as a guide that can teach you about yourself. Try really taking care of them as if they were an unset child instead of something to extinguish and reject. I would have your journal with you and write about what comes up. Write about what insight you might gain and allow your darkness to speak.
In peace,
Victoria
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
I'M BORED!
Whenever I hear the phrase, I'm bored, I have a physical reaction! My body grows tense, my eyes roll to the top of my head and I go into attack mode. "What do you mean you're bored?" "Are you kidding me?" With all the amazing and beautiful things in the world waiting to be felt and experienced, you're bored?" It is difficult for me to contain myself upon hearing this statement uttered. Lets just say, one beautiful day, you find yourself mouthing these two words to yourself and you feel as though you are at a standstill not knowing what to do. Lets just say you stumble across a moment like this...what is an intelligent, wise, articulate, funny, imaginative soul to do?
If you have a computer and internet access you have a world of information at your fingertips...I have one word for you: GOOGLE. All you have to do is LOG ON. You don't have to leave your house; you don't have to pull out your wallet; you don't have to call a friend and arrange a date....all you have to do is LOG ON! Once on, GOGGLE! Do you like books, knitting, skiing, dance, gardening, basketball, old cars, stocks? What is it that shakes your soul? What is it that makes you excited? WHAT ARE YOU PASSIONATE ABOUT? I find so many people have no passions or interests to fall back on when they have down time. Or, when they lose their job or a spouse dies? Life becomes meaningless for them. They stare blankly into the TV and allow their lives to just tick away.
One way to find out what you are passionate about or or that puts a smile on your face, is remembering what you liked as a kid. It's true. Take a little trip back to your childhood and remember what it was that you enjoyed and spent your time doing. Did you collect bugs? Maybe it's time you ventured out into the wilderness or took a trip to your local park, even cities have parks. How about joining a bird watching group? Is there anything you've been dying to learn, but haven't allowed yourself the time to take out of your schedule to do? Check out your local extension school and sign up for a class that either interests you or that you have no clue about and expand your mind.
There is an endless world out there of topics to get excited about. There is you local government to get involved in. There are volunteer opportunities just waiting to be discovered. There are evening classes to enroll in. There are assertiveness training classes to teach you how to be more in charge of your life. There is the Sierra Club to get you outside and walking....I could go on and on with what is out there and at your fingertips!
Next time you find yourself mouthing the phrase, "I'm Bored," email me and we will can build a plan that will get you on the road to discovering what it might be that will fill your soul or developing a passion. There is something out there just waiting for you to embrace! Here is my email....Sealoverv@gmail.com.
Peace!
If you have a computer and internet access you have a world of information at your fingertips...I have one word for you: GOOGLE. All you have to do is LOG ON. You don't have to leave your house; you don't have to pull out your wallet; you don't have to call a friend and arrange a date....all you have to do is LOG ON! Once on, GOGGLE! Do you like books, knitting, skiing, dance, gardening, basketball, old cars, stocks? What is it that shakes your soul? What is it that makes you excited? WHAT ARE YOU PASSIONATE ABOUT? I find so many people have no passions or interests to fall back on when they have down time. Or, when they lose their job or a spouse dies? Life becomes meaningless for them. They stare blankly into the TV and allow their lives to just tick away.
One way to find out what you are passionate about or or that puts a smile on your face, is remembering what you liked as a kid. It's true. Take a little trip back to your childhood and remember what it was that you enjoyed and spent your time doing. Did you collect bugs? Maybe it's time you ventured out into the wilderness or took a trip to your local park, even cities have parks. How about joining a bird watching group? Is there anything you've been dying to learn, but haven't allowed yourself the time to take out of your schedule to do? Check out your local extension school and sign up for a class that either interests you or that you have no clue about and expand your mind.
There is an endless world out there of topics to get excited about. There is you local government to get involved in. There are volunteer opportunities just waiting to be discovered. There are evening classes to enroll in. There are assertiveness training classes to teach you how to be more in charge of your life. There is the Sierra Club to get you outside and walking....I could go on and on with what is out there and at your fingertips!
Next time you find yourself mouthing the phrase, "I'm Bored," email me and we will can build a plan that will get you on the road to discovering what it might be that will fill your soul or developing a passion. There is something out there just waiting for you to embrace! Here is my email....Sealoverv@gmail.com.
Peace!
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