The "Committee""

Did you ever stop and listen to the way you speak to yourself? The internal dialogue that goes on behind closed doors with you, yourself & I. It is very common to internalize the critical voice of others and begin using it with ourselves. We do it so often and unconsciously, that many times we aren't even aware it is happening. In my private practice, when I ask people about how they speak to themselves, they are shocked when they become aware of the harshness of the voice they use. We are usually very aware of how others speak to us, but totally unaware of how we speak to ourselves.


Try stopping and listening the next time you are beating yourself up or unhappy with a choice you've made or when you look in the mirror. Be curious about that voice. You might want to ask it where it came from or what it gets out of putting you down. The best time to listen is when you're being challenged or struggling with something, or when you've made a "mistake." Notice if you use the voice of the saboteur? The punisher? The critic? Or, are you gentle with yourself taking on the voice of the coach or supporter? I like to call these various voices that take hostage of our thoughts as the "committee." See if you can identify the committee in your head. Do any images come up for you? Do you need to let some committee members go? Do they no longer serve their purpose? Be aware of which committee members you'd like to keep on board and which ones need a pink slip. Many times we believe we won't be able to get things done without the harsh and critical voice to keep us on track. Most likely this will not be the case and you will find the encouraging voice just as motivating. Once you've figured out which members need to go, politely ask them to leave and thank them for their service. Some might resist, but be insistent, that they need to leave.


With your new committee that supports and encourages you in place, practice a new way of speaking to yourself that works with you instead of against you. And if you slip, or if an unwanted member returns, be patient with yourself. A new muscle is forming!

Calm your Anxiety Away - create a mandala

If you've followed my blog, you know I write a lot about the art of mandalas. The Sanskrit word that means simply "circle." Every culture uses some form of the circle as a tool to promote calm, healing, meditation, enlightenment and more. Carl Jung, the Swiss Analyst believed the mandala is the voice of the unconscious. In my workshops, the art of creating mandalas, you create freestyle mandalas that represent where you are in your life today. No one mandala will look the same. We use colored pencils, collage and crayons to create personal mandalas. It is fun, connecting, relaxing and  telling.

How do mandalas help with anxiety? First, the circle is a contained space that provides safety. Second, creating mandalas is a meditative process that allows you to become centered, focused and relaxed, especially when you can silence the critical voice within. It helps to train the active thinking brain to be in the here and now and be totally in the process rather than product. Even if you color an already pre-printed mandala, your focus is on the design and not the thoughts in your head.  You can download pre-printed mandalas off the internet and color away.  Allow yourself to let go and let the process happen  You do not have to be an artist or even consider yourself create to make a mandala.  Be aware of how the shapes, images and colors affect your mood. Ask your critical voice to step outside as you move around in your circle.  You can even draw a freestyle circle on a small piece of paper if are waiting for a test or exam to begin and watch how your anxiety and worry shift.

The next time you feel yourself feeling overwhelmed, create a circle and begin coloring!