Thursday, June 2, 2011

Helping Children EXpress Their not-so-fun Feelings

I'm sure, if you have children, or been around them, you've experienced at least once, and I'm sure more, the emotional, confusing and overwhelming temper tantrum. I remember walking with my friend and her 4 year old son when suddenly he dropped to the ground and began wailing. I asked her what was wrong and she simply replied, "I don't have a clue." We both stood their in utter disbelief.

I've learned a thing or two about children's behavior since then and one thing I have learned is never try to reach a child when they are in the midst of a temper tantrum. It's similar to getting my dog's attention when she sees a squirrel...it's just not going to happen. The point is, once a child is in a state of emotional overload, not much is going to distract them let alone getting them to talk about what they are feeling. What you can do though, is let them know you are there for them, hold them, tell them they must be feeling really bad right now proceed to gently rock them. Once they have calmed down, you can then move to the next step which is getting them to verbalize what they are feeling. I recommend giving the names of feelings to them such as, are you feeling mad, sad, happy, frustrated? Children, depending on their age, can't always identify the feeling on their own. Another idea is to have a "feeling" chart in your house. Many times children can look at a facial expression of a feeling and can identify how they are feeling that way. When there is the time, I ask children to create a picture of how they are feeling. I ask them to pick a color, shape and size of their feeling. I would recommend always having markers or crayons on hand and paper. I like to help children identify when they are reaching their so to speak breaking point. They begin to recognize how anger, for instance, they are and can take steps to calm themselves down. They can count, take deep breaths, jump on one foot, do push-ups or take out the coloring supplies. To help children express what they are feeling, here are a few tips:

  • Talk openly in your family about feelings
  • All feelings are ok...it's how you express them
  • Encourage children to use their words not their fists to express feelings
  • Help by suggesting a few feelings they might be feeling
  • Have a feeling chart in your home
  • Share how you are feeling
  • Be a positive example, i.e., do you use bad words; do you yell and scream? do you hit?
  • children learn by observing and if you do the above...they will.
  • Last but not least....STAY CALM!

Friday, May 27, 2011

Long weekend blues...

If you're like me, when a long weekend looms, I feel the urge to to stay home and stay away from the crowds. Though in a city like Los Angeles, many people leave town. Either way, for those of you who stay home and are looking for something creative to engage in, I have an idea. One of my favorite creative practices is making collage greeting cards. All you really need is magazine cut-out images, a few glue sticks, scissors and construction paper. You can also jazz them up with cool ribbon if you wish. I love giving and getting homemade cards. If you have any birthdays coming up, now might be a good time to personalize a few cards so that they are ready when the birthdays roll around. And, it's never too late to get a jump start on those holiday cards.
What I recommend you do first, is beginning to go through any magazines you have sitting around and begin cutting or tearing out images that you like. Keep them in a shoebox and when you're in the mood to work on your cards, the images will be ready for you. Along with images, I cut out sayings, words, and images that make neat backgrounds. You can cut images such as smiles, faces and attach them to other images. Be creative and think outside the box. Lay out the images first before gluing and when you have the card design the way you want it, glue it down. I sometimes trim my cards with color ribbon, or interesting design boarders. See the cards I have included in this blog posting for examples and get started on your card project. Be aware, it can become addicting!