Universal Women's Retreat

I spent, Saturday, September 11, 2010, in Santa Barbara at Casa de Maria doing a mandala workshop for a women's spiritual retreat. It was an amazing day, in an amazing location, with amazing women! My workshop was from 9am - 11:15. If you have never been to Casa de Maria, you really owe it to yourself to make a visit. The atmosphere is calming and uplifting at the same time. I was able to do the workshop in the loft at the center and it provided for a great setting with light, open windows and tables! Something that is not always readily available when I hold workshops.

Everyone was open to the process, which included creating a pre-designed mandala using Crayons and a free-style mandala using mixed media. I had such a great time introducing the art of mandalas to the women, who were there for a weekend of sisterhood. Below are some photos from the workshop and also along the side bar of this blog. Hope to see you at one of my mandala workshops soon. Be well, Victoria

The Disfunctional Art of Not Showing UP

One of my pet-peeves in life is the not showing up virus. As I mentioned in my last posting, I want to say a few words about this rampant disease that attacks young and old, is not gender, race, or religious specific, and can reek havoc on those depending on those who have agreed to SHOW UP in other words, RSVP's YES.

I recently encountered this problem when I signed up to be a Meetup facilitator and to hold monthly Creating Mandala Workshops. 18 people RSVP'd "YES," a bunch "Maybes," some "No's" and 3 on the waiting list. 7 people actually "SHOWED UP." Those on the waiting list missed out, because those that said they were coming didn't. So, what causes people to say yes to something and then change their mind, but not let the event organizer know? Does a better invitation come along? Do they get lost and turn around and go home? Do they lose interest? I know there have been times when I've changed my mind about attending something or I just didn't feel up to it, but I'm quite sure I let the organizer know and if I didn't shame on me.

I believe strongly in showing up. I guess because I was brought up when what others thought of you still mattered and manners and thank you notes were not considered an archaic act, that I realize how important it is to RSVP and follow through on that decision. Or, at least let the person know if you've changed your mind.

Showing up, is what it's about, someone said not that long ago. I can't remember who. But I believe it is true. It's like being habitually late to things. For my recent Meetup event, I was counting on 18 people coming, so I bought additional supplies, set up for 18 people, not 7 and even sent an email out asking people to please let me know if they weren't coming. A few people did change their RSVP's, but mostly, they just didn't show up!

I believe you never know what you will discover when you show up. You might make a new friend, you might meet a love interest, you might get a connection or lead for a great job, find a dependable dog sitter or a great lead to something you've been after...you just don't know. But, if you don't show up, it is certain, you will miss out on some life experience. I met a woman at this meetup, who has generously offered her art studio for me to hold future mandala workshops! How cool is that.

The Art of Creating Mandalas is now on Meetup

My first Art of Creating Mandalas' meetup was last Saturday at Burtan Chase Park in Marina Del Rey. If you've never experienced a Meetup, you should check them out. No matter what you are into, you will find a Meetup on the subject. From arts to sports, spirituality, cooking, dinning, Moms, Dads, Sailing, you name it, and most likely there is a Meetup for it. Meetup is basically a social network of activities that are sometimes free and sometimes there is a fee. A great way to connect and not feel isolated. Check them out at Meetup.com.

Other than the terrible parking situation, it was a great event. 7 people made the effort to show up. Actually, that should be the title of this post...the importance of showing up. I'll save that for another post.

We all met at the park, where I had set up blankets, art supplies, boards to lean on and shade. It was an enthusiastic group from different walks of life. But what brought us together was our love of creativity. There was time to do more than one original mandala and to explore using both black and whte paper, crayons and colored pencils.

The next meetup is scheduled for September 18th and it's possible we will meet at a studio in Tarzana.

Be well and keep the creativity flowing!
Peace,
Victoria

Check out this great site...

This site goes to show that you can create art anywhere...check out Scott's work; it's amazing! (http://www.dirtycarart.com/

Energy-Zappers: finding a creative approach

Are you surrounded by energy-zappers in your life? People who have constant drama and chaos in their lives and have little time to hear your story? People who monopolize the conversation with their tales of drama and never ask what is happening in your life? What does this have to do with creativity you might ask? I'm asking myself that question too. Lets see how the two can come together...

First, lets define what an energy-zapper is:

• Someone who has constant chaos in their lives


• Someone who thrives on chaos in their lives


• Someone who has the ability to pull you into their chaos


• Someone who during the conversation does not ask about your life


• Someone who leaves you wondering, what just happened?

If you recognize any of these situations happening in your relationships, you are most likely experiencing the art of the energy-zapper's ability to drain your energy

Now what?

Here is what I'm learning to do:

• Distance myself from energy-zappers and limit my phone conversations and personal contact with them.
  
• I've identified who the energy-zappers are in my life.


• I choose when to talk to them and when not.


• I create clear boundaries with them, such as..."I need to go now."

How can I turn this into a creative exercise?

1. Create a collage that represents energy-zappers: choose images that correspond to how you feel when you have a conversation with an energy-zapper and recognize the impact they have on your well-being. See collage at the top of this post.

2. To regain a sense of calm after having an energy-zapping conversation, create a calm and relaxing mandala that reflects a release of anxiety.

After creating your calming mandala, spend some time with it. Maybe ask it a question such as, How can I regain the energy I just lost by listening to an energy-zapper? What is it that I need right now? How can I take care of myself the next time I encounter an energy-zapper? Questions like these can help you get back on track, so you do not spend the rest of the day feeling drained or resentful.

Another suggestion is, before engaging in an energy-zapper conversation, let the person know you only have so much time to speak with them before you have to go. You also might decide, that this is a time in your life when you do not have any space for energy-zappers and that is OK too. Limit conversations or let others know you are exhausted and need time to yourself.

REMEMBER---you can always turn to your journal to write or draw about the feelings you are experiencing. This is your safe place.

Painting Self Portraits

I recently attended a workshop at the Ford Theatre in Los Angeles in memory to Frida Kahlo, one of my favorite and admired painters. Know for her detailed and vibrant self portraits, part of the evening was going to be spent exploring self portraits. What I thought was going to be a film and dance event, became an amazing experience in painting our self portrait. The out door theatre was turned into an art studio with the stage being lined with brown paper, acrylic paints and mirrors. Two professional painters were there to guide us. But other then some technique tips here and there, we were on our own. I began with an outline of my face and then attempted to to fill in the oval. It is challenging doing a self portrait with one size brush, but luckily we could paint over and over our brown paper until we got the image that we liked. I could feel my inner critic speak loudly as I tried over and over to get the image I wanted and feeling little control over the paint and my brush. As soon as I was able to let go of any expectations and just let the brush have fun, my self criticism silenced some what. My friends who came with me had a great time and the portraits that came out of the experience were fantastic. It was a beautiful experience and I learned to allow my self portrait to be more of a reflection of how I am rather than a perfect image of my features.

Selective Mutism - Understanding a Child's Silence

I've been seeing a young girl in my private practice for about three months now, who I am totally fascinated with. Until recently, I had no idea she remains completely silent in class except for Spanish and Music. She is in Kindergarten and is 6. At She has a 9 year old brother, who at the first session informed me that she doesn't speak and that he will speak for her. At home it's a different story. She talks, plays, and wrestles with her brother. She is also aggressvive at times, acts out inappropriately and uses profanity.

So what's going on with this six-year old girl? That's what I've been seeking to understand and figure out since beginning to see her. I first thought I was working with a child with ODD, oppositional defiant disorder, a diagnosis from the DSM IV manual. The more I work with this young girl, the more I begin to see an intelligent, witty and athletic child, who is doing the best she can to cope with her surrounding environment. She loves animals, loves sports and loves to win. After speaking to her teacher, I realized that this kindergartner is silent throughout most of the day. Some how, she keeps it all together without speaking or uttering a word. She has pretty good peer relations, but definitely has her triggers. The clinical term given to children who do not speak is called Selective Mutism. Many will report that selective mutism is about control, but it is not. It is a social anxiety disorder that causes children to clam up for fear of being laughed at and fear of social embarrassment. It is found in less than 1% of mental health settings and can develop into other issues later in life if not treated. It usually occurs before the age of 5, but does not become recognized until a child enters school.

One of my therapeutic goals is to help my client improve her self-confidence and to decrease her social anxiety. As an art therapist, I do this by incorporating play, art and games. It has taken about 3 months for this child to feel comfortable and to begin to trust me and to not act out or miss use my art supplies or toys. Though this child does exhibit signs and symptoms of ODD, it is due in part to her underlying anxiety disorder. It makes sense that a child who remains silent for a good portion of his or her day, would at some point need to some how release all their built up feelings and emotions. I continue to learn, and try to understand how this child perceives her world. Part of my job as her therapist, is to help her develop healthy and constructive coping skills to handle her world. Becasue at six, she already sees her world as being scarey and unpredictable. I have to help her learn tools to not only cope, but to handle disappointment and unpredictability.