Showing posts with label internal critic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label internal critic. Show all posts

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Beginnings - Where do I start? How do I start? Will it be good enough?

So, here I am staring at a blank page on my blog. I want to write today, but nothing is coming to me; No ideas. No thoughts: No hip, cool subjects jumped out at me. I feel lost about what to write. Then it hits me...beginnings. Oxford Dictionary: perform the first part of; start.  Yikes. Starting. Does that sending chills up your spine? Starting your taxes, starting a diet, starting a conversation. Staring at a blank page. As a writer and artist, I find staring at a blank page very intimidating. I want it to be good and I want it to express what I'm are thinking and feeling. In other words, I have an expectation about how it should be, look, etc. One of my favorite quotes is by Anne Lamott, writer.  In her book, "Bird by Bird" she says, don't be afraid to write a shitty first draft. Whether it's an exercise program, writing an essay, creating art, or anything else, we can feel as though a huge question mark is staring at us.  When I lead my Mandala workshops, I tell participants, if you are having trouble beginning, place your pencil anywhere in the circle and let the pencil guide you. Give the power over to the pencil. Allow it to speak for you for a few moments. I really believe that whether it is a creative piece or an academic paper, we can give ourselves some room for exploration or curiosity as be move into unknown territory of the blank page. One small movement is a beginning. One word is a beginning. One stoke of the brush is a beginning. BEWARE....the voice of criticism will be lurking just around the corner waiting to pounce. Ask it to step aside; remind it, you are having fun and don't need its help; and ask it, what do you get out of putting me down?

Exercise:

  • Place a blank piece of white paper in front of you about 8 1/2/11 plain computer paper.
  • Use whichever medium you feel most comfortable with
  • Ask the paper if it has any messages for you today
  • Close you eyes for a few moments as you rest your hand on the paper in front of you
  • Move your hand around the paper
  • Does a color, shape, size, image come to mind?
  • Does the paper feel warm, cold, or hot?
  • Does it feel soft, hard, textured?
  • Maybe a question such as where do you suggest I begin? would be helpful
  • As you move your hand on the paper does a particular shape form?  
  • Let all of this be a guide for you.
  • Allow the page to speak to you and when you feel images, shapes, or colors come to you...go with them.
  • Do not judge
  • Do not erase
  • Just play!
Everything you have done so far has been a beginning. You have begun. Be careful about judgement. This is not about how much, how good, how perfect; it's about getting started and moving forward. Have fun with it and ask all critics to step outside. Be kind and gentle with yourself...No punishing talk. Kind, loving words as though you are speaking to a young child...
Creatively,
Victoria

Monday, August 17, 2009

Internal Critics Move Aside

Many of us are haunted by our internal critic: the "shoulder," the judge, or whatever name you would like to give him or her. For those who try art therapy for the first time, who have experienced ongoing battles with these negative voices, a new process begins to take shape. Process versus product. It is difficult at first to move beyond the idea of an aesthetic and beautifully pleasing piece of art to staying in the moment with the process of creating. This is one of the key elements to using art therapy and how art therapy and an art lesson differ. Staying in the process becomes freeing and enjoyable when staying in the here and now is the goal. Clients many times tell me how much they enjoy not worrying about what their art will look like and just let what will happen happen. Here, we begin to see how our internal critic really works as its voice tries to be heard and as we develop a new voice that asks the critic to please step aside.
Learning to talk to your internal critic can be a daily practice that takes place in a journal or whenever you encounter the negative-thinking voice. Awareness that it is taking place is the first step. Acknowledging that it exists must happen before you can confront it. I tell clients to draw or write in a journal to practice working with the judgemental voice inside of them. When issues of perfection, or feelings of making a mistake arise, I ask clients to acknowledge the feeling, and try to stay with the process allowing their art to be what it wants to be. So, as you work in a journal, be aware of what is happening as you draw or write. Be aware of your reactions, and instead of doing what you've done in the past, try something new. Try gently asking the critic to please step outside, because, you know what you are doing and do not need his or her help. Continue to work with this process until you feel you can work freely and comfortably allowing the process to take place without judgement.