New Year....New Perspective!

We humans are so interesting! We choose every new year to write our resolutions; we start exercise programs, dieting plans, set out to find mates, and attempt to start anew. What is interesting, is we can choose to do that any day during the year; we can start anew any second if we just put our heart and minds into it. We could choose to alter our perspective on life, on our state of being and how we view anything that crosses our path. I like knowing that I have that power. I like knowing I can see the glass as half full, half empty, or for that matter, completely empty or completely full!


So, how do you see your life? Does your perspective need some tweaking? Is your perspective of your self based on what is going on externally in your life? Have you ever stopped to really get to know yourself and connect to your core? Do you even know your core? That pure essence of who you are? Art is a great way to explore these aspects of ourselves that we may be unfamiliar with. Collage is a beautiful way to start the exploration.


Start cutting out magazine images that reflect aspects of who you are...not necessarily what you like, but deep inside; the parts of you that might include your "shadow" side, which is the part of you that you don't like to reveal to others or that you might be ashamed of or judge. Let them all hang out together and get to know each other. Play with each of their perspectives of life and of you.

Glue the images down. Maybe there are conflicting aspects of you: the silly side, the serious side, the outgoing side and the shy side. Get to know them and explore how they have shaped your perspectives on not only life in general, but on YOU. See what changes might need to be made to make your world and how you view yourself less critical and more loving and accepting.  Notice the old tapes that need to be deleted. Such as, "I'm too fat;" "I can't be loved unless______." "If it's not perfect...it's not ok." See what you come up with and get to know all of you and how you see the world and yourself! Have fun with the collage and discovering your essence...you might like what you find!

Helping Children EXpress Their not-so-fun Feelings

I'm sure, if you have children, or been around them, you've experienced at least once, and I'm sure more, the emotional, confusing and overwhelming temper tantrum. I remember walking with my friend and her 4 year old son when suddenly he dropped to the ground and began wailing. I asked her what was wrong and she simply replied, "I don't have a clue." We both stood their in utter disbelief.

I've learned a thing or two about children's behavior since then and one thing I have learned is never try to reach a child when they are in the midst of a temper tantrum. It's similar to getting my dog's attention when she sees a squirrel...it's just not going to happen. The point is, once a child is in a state of emotional overload, not much is going to distract them let alone getting them to talk about what they are feeling. What you can do though, is let them know you are there for them, hold them, tell them they must be feeling really bad right now proceed to gently rock them. Once they have calmed down, you can then move to the next step which is getting them to verbalize what they are feeling. I recommend giving the names of feelings to them such as, are you feeling mad, sad, happy, frustrated? Children, depending on their age, can't always identify the feeling on their own. Another idea is to have a "feeling" chart in your house. Many times children can look at a facial expression of a feeling and can identify how they are feeling that way. When there is the time, I ask children to create a picture of how they are feeling. I ask them to pick a color, shape and size of their feeling. I would recommend always having markers or crayons on hand and paper. I like to help children identify when they are reaching their so to speak breaking point. They begin to recognize how anger, for instance, they are and can take steps to calm themselves down. They can count, take deep breaths, jump on one foot, do push-ups or take out the coloring supplies. To help children express what they are feeling, here are a few tips:

• Talk openly in your family about feelings
• All feelings are ok...it's how you express them
• Encourage children to use their words not their fists to express feelings
• Help by suggesting a few feelings they might be feeling
• Have a feeling chart in your home
• Share how you are feeling
• Be a positive example, i.e., do you use bad words; do you yell and scream? do you hit?
• children learn by observing and if you do the above...they will.
• Last but not least....STAY CALM!

Long weekend blues...

If you're like me, when a long weekend looms, I feel the urge to to stay home and stay away from the crowds. Though in a city like Los Angeles, many people leave town. Either way, for those of you who stay home and are looking for something creative to engage in, I have an idea. One of my favorite creative practices is making collage greeting cards. All you really need is magazine cut-out images, a few glue sticks, scissors and construction paper. You can also jazz them up with cool ribbon if you wish. I love giving and getting homemade cards. If you have any birthdays coming up, now might be a good time to personalize a few cards so that they are ready when the birthdays roll around. And, it's never too late to get a jump start on those holiday cards.
What I recommend you do first, is beginning to go through any magazines you have sitting around and begin cutting or tearing out images that you like. Keep them in a shoebox and when you're in the mood to work on your cards, the images will be ready for you. Along with images, I cut out sayings, words, and images that make neat backgrounds. You can cut images such as smiles, faces and attach them to other images. Be creative and think outside the box. Lay out the images first before gluing and when you have the card design the way you want it, glue it down. I sometimes trim my cards with color ribbon, or interesting design boarders. See the cards I have included in this blog posting for examples and get started on your card project. Be aware, it can become addicting!

I'm good enough, smart enough and...

I'm enough! Period. End of story. Wouldn't it be great if that's the way it really worked. This idea has been coming up a lot in my life recently both on a personal level and with my work with clients. I've been giving a lot of thought to the idea of really believing that one is good enough just the way they are. At what point do we learn that we are not good enough and where do we stumble on or get programmed to believe that we are not? We surely don't come out of the womb with a belief system that we are not good enough. We enter the world whole and then we are bombarded with shoulds, shame, judgement, doubt, criticism, and the list goes on. This is typically when we learn to these reject aspects of ourselves as though they were limbs we could amputate; we take these parts of ourselves and shove them away so no one will find them. And, we forget about them. So we think. They have ways of sneaking around and tormenting us when we least expect it. Times of feeling rejected, abandoned, fearful, lonely...oh yes, they're still around.

So, what parts of yourself do you reject? Or maybe I should say, disown. Or maybe your are ashamed of. Can you name a few? What about the part of you that tends to be forgetful? Or the part that gets jealous? Or, the part that can be careless...that's a big one. And, what about the part that you feel is NOT PERFECT? Yes, even that one. What I'm asking is how do you take care of yourself when these aspects of yourself come up? Do you berate yourself? Shame yourself? Or, are you loving and kind to yourself?

Here's the art directive:
Create a collage using cut-out magazine images, of all the many aspects of you. Good, bad, ugly, unacceptable, unforgiving, not allowed; the parts you embrace and the parts you reject...they are all welcome...invite them all in. Use images that reflect these parts of you. Glue them to the paper and really take time to look at them and get to know them. Realize, that like it or not, these are what make you who you are. They are all part of the amazing whole that make you YOU. No one collage will look the same. Practice seeing what it feels like to really take these pieces of yourself in. Bring them forward and acknowledge them. Take them out of the closet and allow them to be seen. You do not have to hide them anymore. They create the whole of who you are and if you took one away, the whole would not be complete. After completing your self-collage, I would encourage you to journal about the process. Write about what came up and you might want to even name these beautiful parts of what make you YOU. Give them names. They all have a right to be here. They are not wrong.

Go in peace...

Tibetan Mandala

I had the opportunity to see my first Tibetan sand mandala being created at the Hammer museum in Westwood, Ca yesterday. The exhibit is being put on by the Mandala Project. (www.aribhod.org) The traditional Tibetan mandala is meticulously painted with colored sand and can be seen in its 3-D replica and blue print forms as well. The process is amazing and to see it in person was a moving experience.
I continue to learn something new all the time about mandalas. I learned yesterday that traditional mandalas are 3-dimensional and flat replicas are created on a surface painted with colored sand. These are the mandalas I am most familiar with. Given the time and expertise needed to create 3-dimensional mandalas, there are only a few of them in the world. These mandalas are not dismantled when completed as the sand mandalas are. The particular mandala that is on display at the Hammer is the Zangdok Palri and depicts the gathering of awareness holders, who have attained the highest level of wisdom and capacity to benefit others. ((The Mandala Project) Whether 3-dimensional or as a sand mandala, the space is considered sacred and rich in ancient symbolism.
To preserve the importance of this treasure of Tibetan culture, the Zangdok Pairi Mandala is being built in the mountains of Tehachapi, California. It will be a four-story architectural mandala. When completed, the structure will reach 90 feet high and will be a symbol to promote and teach peace and compassion.

Finding art all around us

As I was driving home yesterday from Hollywood, where I'm a counselor at the Do it Now Foundation, I spied this amazing rainbow dashing through the sky. After a few days of extreme heat, the sky darkened and between clouds and buildings, this rainbow appeared. I had to grab my Blackberry and snap away. Rainbows are, I believe, natures ability to be artist. Children draw rainbows at a very young age and they seem to instantly communicate a sense of happiness to those who witness them. They are referred in music, poetry, children's lit and more as a place where joy resides and when you get to the end of them...somewhere over the rainbow; a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

Rainbows appear when the sun shines into droplets of water. I happen to think that they are one of the most beautiful phenomenons in nature along with blazing orange, pink and red sunsets. So grab some pastels, colored pencils, paint and create your own personal sunset.

The Art of Creating Mandalas is now on Meetup

My first Art of Creating Mandalas' meetup was last Saturday at Burtan Chase Park in Marina Del Rey. If you've never experienced a Meetup, you should check them out. No matter what you are into, you will find a Meetup on the subject. From arts to sports, spirituality, cooking, dinning, Moms, Dads, Sailing, you name it, and most likely there is a Meetup for it. Meetup is basically a social network of activities that are sometimes free and sometimes there is a fee. A great way to connect and not feel isolated. Check them out at Meetup.com.

Other than the terrible parking situation, it was a great event. 7 people made the effort to show up. Actually, that should be the title of this post...the importance of showing up. I'll save that for another post.

We all met at the park, where I had set up blankets, art supplies, boards to lean on and shade. It was an enthusiastic group from different walks of life. But what brought us together was our love of creativity. There was time to do more than one original mandala and to explore using both black and whte paper, crayons and colored pencils.

The next meetup is scheduled for September 18th and it's possible we will meet at a studio in Tarzana.

Be well and keep the creativity flowing!
Peace,
Victoria

Art & Pain

I read recently that Liam Neeson turned to art-making after his wife died to aid in his healing process. Others throughout time have used art for its cathartic benefits including Frida Kahlo, to name just one. It is no secret that art, music, poetry and other forms of self-expression aid in the healing process. But how? From a neuroscience perspective, art activates the emotional brain (amygdala ) quicker and easier than the left thinking brain. Art allows for feelings and emotions to be expressed instead of leaving them unaddressed where they can trigger anger, frustration and sadness in the brain and body. Art provides a calming and relaxing experience that supports the immune system, decreasing blood pressure and physical pain. When we focus on a creative practice, our minds are not focused on the pain or distractions of illness. Have you ever doodled? Doodling is a great example of how we can refocus our brains to a creative practice providing a distraction from worry, anxiety and many times physical pain.

Not only does art provide a tool to express feelings non-verbally, but it provides a vehicle to gain a sense of control when much of our lives can feel out of control. It offers a sense of accomplishment. It can be done at home or in the hospital or during medical treatments. Words can not always explain the impact an illness has on one's life, but art offers that opportunity. When we engage in art-making that isn't product focused, but rather process-focused, we can allow the enjoyment of self-expression to be present. We can let what happens happen and not be caught up with how something should look, but rather let the process unfold without judgment. With art-making, clients can give voice to the aspects of their lives that provide joy and to those that are challenging and painful. The art-work then becomes a tool to discuss life with a chronic illness.

Be well in body, mind & spirit.